Kintsugi

Every good book has chapters. I recently ran across a chapter written 10 years ago:

“Just ride it…you’ll be fine.” Grandpa would say when I’d get afraid.

His friend Carlton, the first time I rode with them: “Michael you have much experience with horses?”
Me: “No sir” (a lie, hoping for one that was old and dead-broke).
Carlton: “Well if you haven’t ridden much, we better find you one that hasn’t been ridden much.”
Gulp….”yes sir.”

I was 10 or 12, the horses were half my age and half broke.
“Just ride it…you’ll be fine”. It worked for a really long time.

Spooking sideways into the bushes, thrashing around; it was great theater, especially when I’d loose my hat, they loved it when I’d loose my hat. In the middle of it I’d hear grandpa say “Good boy!” If the performance was especially good he’d give me some of his brown water from a glass bottle wrapped in duct tape. It burned, but it was good because he told me not to tell mom.

Just ride it…you’ll be fine…it was the truth until it wasn’t.

Ten years later, there’s some clarity on the light released by a shattered illusion.

A little less ambition, a little more patience.
A little less muscle, a little more understanding.
What is their point of view? A big question that might take some time;
that’s okay because slow is the fastest way.

Cracks, light, beauty
Others have walked here before.

“I said: what about my eyes?
He said: Keep them on the road.

I said: What about my passion?
He said: Keep it burning.

I said: What about my heart?
He said: Tell me what you hold inside it?

I said: Pain and sorrow.
He said: Stay with it. The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Rumi

Kintsugi is the centuries-old Japanese technique that repairs broken pottery by piecing together the shattered pieces with a special joint compound containing powdered gold. The resulting pottery is considered even more beautiful and valuable after it is broken and mended than it was in its original flawless state.

Maybe it’s a little like that.